Today is 2nd January 2010, the second day of this new year that we are joyfully celebrating. As usual, new year comes with new year resolution, and everyone is suddenly so focused on getting themselves better… A very good first step in re-inventing yourself! But there are also some people who might have just loose hope of their potentials, and is just letting themselves to just be as times goes by. Not a single plan, not a single determination, nor was there any action to change. And one of them was me.
Last year, I really was determined to change myself with the change of year. I was so sure that I have so many hidden potentials that are yet to be unleashed. I was sure that I could make myself become a better person than how I was back then. And so, I also came up with a new year resolution that I was so determined to achieve it throughout the year. But somehow, throughout the year, obstacles consistently came… And I was let to believe that the obstacles were too big for me to face. My morale was down, my inspiration gone, and my action was only half way. Towards the end of the year, I let myself believe that there is nothing worth about me to be proud of. I was just another ordinary person with failures in everything I determined to achieve and was not motivated to change. I started to think that it was really me. I was destined to be that way. There was nothing that I could do that can change that.
Having reading a lot of motivational and self help books, I know that what I believe was a lie. I know that there’s no way I will be stuck in that position forever if I keep my head up high, not afraid to get up each and everytime that I fall down hard. But it’s just one of those days when you just lose hope, and how you are hoping that life hadn’t be this difficult and that you wish you have other people’s courage, determination and outlook. I was starting to think that I have never achieved anything much in my life compared to others that I looked up to and whom I was close with. I was losing hope.
So here I am today, still wondering what I want to construct in my New Year Resolution. It was when I tidied up my room with my radio as the background earlier today, when something really crossed my mind. I was listening to Fly FM and they started playing these international best songs for the last 10 years. And I do remember that every new year, the radio stations that I tuned on to would play the top 100 songs of the previous year. And since this year is 2010, they decided to play the best songs for the last 10 years… It made me think that every year, there would be a song that is worth being played in the new year… and maybe to be played on the celebration of every 10 years! How every year, there would be an achievement worth remembering and mentioning so that it could be an inspiration to other artists to make their way to the year’s best list.
And so I relate this to my personal life. Was I as bad as I have believed throughout my life? Weren’t there any achievements that are worth remembering and mentioning every year or every 10 years so that I could be motivated to be better, since there should be something that I have achieved and proud of every year? And so, this awakening in mind had let me to write this up so that I get the initiative to list down the achievements that I had so far to motivate myself and to also awaken up others who was feeling and believing as what I had felt and believed. Let us all be proud of who we are and never be down! There will always be a room for improvements and new achievements. =)
Year: 2000
Best Achievement: Get excellent result for UPSR, accepted into boarding school, and manage to live independently.
Year: 2001
Best Achievement: Get highest mark in English among my batch. The teacher even praised in seniors’ class about some of her students’ essays (and that includes me).
Year: 2002
Best Achievement: First time speaking in public (not to mention first time entering any contest), and I won the first place in school! I even beat the seniors~ Ha ha. I always thought that I had a stage fright or something. But this proves that to get rid of fear is to face fear itself. =)
Year: 2003
Best Achievement: Won the 1st place in my district’s Syarahan Agama Bahasa Inggeris! I beat last year’s winner to add to my triumph~ I even beat SBP students in the area. Yeyyy~ ^o^
Year: 2004
Best Achievement: I manage to turn my future in Chemistry around. Who would’ve thought that the person who was so used to get marks below 55 percent in Chemistry throughout her Form 4 tests and failed Chemistry in her 1st test in Form 5 would actually get the grade “A” for Chemistry in SPM? =D
Year: 2005
Best Achievement: Accepted into Matriculation College and was one of those personally trained by our English lecturer on MUET as he believed that we were capable of getting Band 6 in MUET (which we didn’t get at the end of the day). But what’s important is that the professional people BELIEVE in your potentials, right? Not many people gain this trust, and that is why I considered it as an achievement. =)
Year: 2006
Best Achievement: Get my 1st choice of UPU course options which is Polymer Technology at UiTM! My favourite course that I really looked forward to study further~ But due to some things, I decided to pursue my studies in Accountancy at MMU instead. At least I made a decision knowing that I had been offered what I had applied for, and I rejected the offer willingly. =)
Year: 2007
Best Achievement: First time studying accounting in my whole life… with no foundation and straight to the Bachelors degree… and I managed to control my pointers! And I always thought that I could never do it. He he. I guess when there’s a will, there’s a way, huh?
Year: 2008
Best Achievement: Manage to achieve the targeted CGPA that my brother had challenged me, and thus, was rewarded a free visit to UK & Andalucia! Yippeee~~~
Year: 2009
Best Achievement: Okay, this is a year where I felt down… Everything went wrong, and everything I did and decisions made turned out to be a big failure… I guess the best achievement that I get from this year is every failure that I faced. I’ve read somewhere that to be successful, you must first fail. If you haven’t met any failures, means that you haven’t pushed yourself hard enough. So, I guess what I learnt from the failures are the best achievements I had throughout the year. =)
And so, year 2010 will be the year that I want to achieve something memorable as well. I would push myself harder and harder. After all, I have taken a quote from Steve Chandler’s book “100 Ways to Motivate Yourself” as my new year motto: The harder you are on yourself, the easier life is on you.
